Who are you?

I am a hacker who tinkers for the fun of it and to satisfy the basic human nature of lighting things on fire. I have this thing called a job. I get paid when I take selfies in other people’s vaults in the middle of the night. I don’t know if it is real.

What do you do?

I think the better question is what don’t I do? I have built electronics to my heart’s delight, dabbled in Radioactivity, made a small business profit with Thermite redox reactions, taught myself lock picking at the tender age of 13 since I regularly got locked out of the house (no joke, my parents didn’t trust me with a key), I have worked with a dozen traditional art forms (plus a few I made up), insulted someone attempting to hack my server through an FTP console, played sports, shot some crummy short films (and some awesome high speed vids), and programed a radio at 3 in the morning using a Speak-n-Spell to call “CQ Field Day, this is ** Fried Chicken, may I take your order please?”

Then there is my day/night job. I take selfies inside of other peoples’ offices and vaults, I crack open safes, and I drop those SQL tables off at my friend Bobby’s house (who is suspended from school for some reason).

Why do you do these things?

Here’s why: ““We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon, we choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too.” – John F. Kennedy, 12th of September, 1962

Are you certifiably insane?

I assure you, I am not. My tail told me so.

But then why are you talking to yourself in the comments?

I’m not, I’m talking to you!

But aren’t you typing this?

… By using the differential equation (d^2)x/d(t^2)*Y + (dx/dt)*F + R = 0, I can integrate the equation, reject the value of your Reality and use u substitution to solve that Your face is the derivative of my Fist